Then Comes Joy
Pascal Auclair gave a great talk at the retreat on Renunciation, a word which always sounds punishing to me. But Pascal talked about it in terms of “profound release” and “a joyful letting go.” Which sounds a heck of a lot better.
Almost as an aside, he mentioned that he’s heard Phillip Moffitt talk about 3 renunciations that he (Phillip) has taken on. I’m considering taking them on, too.
(1) Not being the star of my own movie.
(2) Not measuring my success by the number of desires that are met.
(3) Not being attached to being right.
The caveat here, from Pascal’s talk, is that “renunciation can not be led by ill will or repression, but when it’s aligned with wisdom…..then comes joy.”
(image from The Housewives Tarot)
Judging-Comparing-Fixing
At the retreat, we renewed our commitment — our vow, really — to abstain from judging, comparing and fixing. Which, of course, didn’t mean that we all stopped doing it.
But we all did commit to take this on as a practice.
And it occurs to me that this is a practice of equanimity. By not judging others, by not comparing myself to them and by not trying to “fix” them, I am letting them be who they are, as they are. This doesn’t mean that I withdraw from them. I can be right there with them. Present and responsive, as needed.
But they don’t have to be the way I want them to be for me to care about them. They don’t have to be like me. And I don’t have to be like them. We are profoundly connected, but we don’t need to go around fixing each other.
So I have added this to my morning ritual. In addition to taking the traditional vows to avoid harming other beings, I have add: For my own freedom and for the freedom of others, I will practice equanimity by not judging, comparing or fixing.
Money Blind
“We are all blind in some way about money, and we keep ourselves blind.” The Soul of Money, by Lynn Twist & Teresa Barker
One of the intentions I have made after attending the retreat, is to open my eyes to my relationship with money.
The first thing I decided to do — no surprise — was to buy something. I bought The Soul of Money ($14.99), which Diana Winston recommended in her very inspiring talk about how she got clarity, and freedom, by looking deeply into her own very complex money relationships.
Then — what else — I bought an app: the Ace Budget 2 ($.99), which is making it easy for me to keep track of every single cent I spend….where, when, with whom, on what, and how much.
And then I put a dollar bill next to the buddha where I meditate, along with the stones and feathers and shells I’ve brought back from other retreats. This is to remind me of my intention and helps me renew it every morning and evening.
I’m not sure where this investigation will take me. But I’m pretty sure it will be enlightening.
From the book: “What became clear was that when people were able to align their money with their deepest, most soulful interests and commitments, their relationship with money because a place where profound and lasting transformation could occur. Their money — no matter what the amount — become the conduit for this change.”
Stay tuned.
(Image: Steampunk Tarot)
2012
Mudita Haiku
At the retreat, Pascal Auclair gave a wonderful talk on Mudita, which I understand to mean the way we share in and feel uplifted by the joy of others. He talked about how energy flows from one person to another, and how this quality of gladness…as well as compassion, goodwill and balanced attention….are always welcome.
After the talk, we each wrote a mudita haiku. Here’s mine:
They kiss and kiss.
I relax and smile.
Envy has left the building.
2012
S-T-O-P
Stop. Take a breath. Observe. Proceed.
This is a cool little mindfulness practice I brought back from the retreat, thanks to Tempel Smith. At least once a day, I send a text to one of my dharma buddies that just says: STOP.
It stands for: Stop. Take a breath. Observe. Proceed.
And at least once a day, each of them sends the same text to me.
So, randomly, I get these little “pings” on my cell phone throughout the day, and I’m reminded to come back to the present moment and to notice what’s going on. It’s very sweet. Especially since I’m also reminded that someone I care about is thinking of me.
2012
First Bite Meditation
On the last day of the “Worldly Dharmas” retreat, Sally Armstrong asked us to write down — and to share — one or two intentions we have for bringing our practice into the world over the next few months.
One of mine has to do with money and I’ll write more about that later. But the other one is to practice what I’m calling First Bite Meditation.
Mindfully eating at every meal is surely a good idea, but the truth is, it’s just not going to happen. At least not for me. At least not right now.
But I do think I can manage to be somewhat more mindful. And my first step is to set an intention of mindfully eating the first bite of every meal.
I’ve been trying it now for 2-and-a-half days, and most of the time I’ve caught myself mid-bite, mid-meal and thought….#!%&!….I forgot again! But then I just say, OK, at least I can stop for a second and taste this bite.
And then I do.
It’s harder than I thought, but it’s getting easier. I’m catching myself earlier. And I’m slowing down a little bit more.
It’s good to be in the world….and to know what it tastes like!
2012
The Artist Cook
I’m back from the desert, which was dry and prickly and full of life.
I learned a lot.
Amazing, isn’t it, the things you discover when you start paying attention. For example, I found out that one of the fabulous cooks at the retreat is an artist….and not only in the kitchen! Her name is Anna Oneglia and she paints and makes these wonderful word/image prints.
Check out her paintings of Ganeesha on a Bike and more!
Sitting in the Desert
I’m leaving on Saturday morning for Joshua Tree Retreat Center, which is in the high desert of southern California. I’m going for a 7-day retreat/workshop, which is part of the Dedicated Practitioner Program I’m enrolled in through Spirit Rock.
Jack Kornfield and Sally Armstrong will be the main teachers, but Pascal Auclair, Tempel Smith, Trudy Goodman and Diana Winston will also be teaching.
The theme of this retreat is “Worldly Dharmas.” The pre-retreat letter says: “We will explore what it means to be sincere lay practitioners in the 21st century, practicing in a tradition that has a monastic lineage, devoted to deepening wisdom and compassion, yet living a life in the world, with all the challenges of livelihood, relationships and more.”
So, basically, this retreat is all about money and sex!
Should be interesting. I’ll post all about it when I get back on May 6.
Stay tuned!