Seat & Feet
Here’s a tip I brought back from one of Eric Kolvig‘s talks at the Tucson retreat:
Periodically throughout the day, especially when things start to escalate, see if you can bring your attention to your “seat” (the sensations of your butt on the chair, if you’re sitting) and/or to your feet. This offers a chance to get out of the whirlwind of whatever’s going on for a second and helps to ground you in the present moment. It doesn’t change anything about what’s going on. Except that it interrupts the habitual reactions we often get hooked into…which, of course, does give us the chance to take a fresh look at the situation and maybe respond more skillfully this time.
Give it a try!
(image: from “A Whole World,” by Couprie and Louchard)
We’re in the Chapel!
Dharma Friends Sitting Group met for the first time last night at the First Unitarian Church on Waterman at Kingshighway in the Central West End. I thought we’d be in a small conference room upstairs, but instead the church had reserved their large, open, modernist Hope Chapel for us!
At first I was concerned about the space because the group has been quite small. But there was a little alter along the wall near one corner (with a candle and a tiny singing bowl!) so I arranged a few chairs in a circle and hoped we wouldn’t feel swamped by the room. Then people started coming and I had to add more chairs!
It’s hard to see from these photos, but there’s a lovely garden area just beyond this wall of glass doors that I expect will be delightful once Daylight Savings Time begins. And because the room is so large, we could add walking meditation, if we want. We might even be able to schedule a whole day of sitting-and-walking meditation, at some time in the future.
Stay tuned!
We Made the News!
The Spirit Rock e-newsletter just came out and they’ve got an article about the St. Louis KM groups! And not only that, they’ve also got a link to our Dharma Town website….which they call “visually stunning.” How cool is that!!!
The article begins,”The Buddha considered sangha to be vitally important. Joining a group of fellow practitioners can support and inspire your practice. The Kalyana Mitta [KM] network is a collection of practice groups throughout the country that bring together members of the Dharma community to study and share practice experiences in a friendly and supportive environment.”
Which is exactly what I had in mind when we started forming these groups. If you’re interested in participating, send me an email or check us out here.
As I said in the article, “For me, the outpouring of interest and active participation in these groups has been a tremendous source of joy, confidence and inspiration. Not only have I found a wonderful new group of like-minded friends, but I feel deeply immersed in the Dharma, and more committed than ever to my life as a practice. At long last, I’ve found my Dharma Home.”
It’s true.
Would You Like Some?
On my way to the retreat in Arizona, I was flying from Phoenix to Tucson, after having flown from St. Louis to Phoenix. It was late in the day, and I was hungry, but I definitely wasn’t going to buy any of the unhealthy, overpriced snacks the flight attendant was selling…and then I saw the little can of Pringles, and the desire for that exact combination of salt and fat and starch arose in my mind…along with the certainty that it would be the perfect thing to go with the Diet Coke I was already drinking….so I bought them. I paid three dollars for that little can! Which irritated me. But there I was…hungry and captive. I wanted those Pringles! So I got them.
And then the thought arose, that the woman sitting next to me, who was also drinking a Diet Coke, might like to have some too.
But I had paid THREE DOLLARS for that little can.
And I was hungry.
And I wanted to eat them. All of them.
So I opened the can and started eating.
They were good. But I felt bad about not sharing. It wasn’t that I felt like I should have shared them. Or that I was somehow a bad person for not doing it. In the past, in never would have occurred to me to share what I was eating on a plane. I certainly wouldn’t have expected anyone sitting next to me to share what they were eating!
But, still, I couldn’t let go of the feeling that the woman sitting next to me….who was traveling late in the day (like me), and drinking a Diet Coke (like me)…must surely want some Pringles (just like me!)
So I offered her some.
Turns out, she didn’t want any. But she was certainly pleased — and surprised — that I had offered.
And I felt great.
Much, much better, in fact, than I had before I’d offered them.
The Pringles were good.
But this was WAY better.
I’ve heard that ethical behavior leads to the bliss of blamelessness. This was a feeling I can only describe as the joy of generosity. More accurately, it’s the happiness that comes from realizing that we’re not all that different…or separate…from each other.
Try it.
(image: this is another one of those cards that I’ve had forever and don’t know where they came from…or who to credit)
Dharma Friends
The Buddha said (I’m paraphrasing here) that being in the company of good friends is vital to living a life that is wise, compassionate and free of suffering. So I want to put a plug in here for Cafe Sangha, DharmaTown’s monthly no-program, no-agenda, just-get-together-and-get-to-know-each-other social event. It’s not even an event! It’s just a place and time where friends can stop by and hang out.
Where: Stone Spiral Coffee Shop, 2500 Sutton, Maplewood (just north of Manchester)
When: the first Saturday of every month
What time: any time between 8:30 and 10:00 am
Last Saturday, Chris, David, Nadine, Scott and I met and had a great time looking at pictures of Scott’s new granddaughter, talking about the recent retreat in Arizona, and Chris’s trip with her daughter to Florence.
Cafe Sangha meets again on Saturday, April 6. I hope to see you there!
The Dance of Desire
The Monday night “Dancing with Life“ KM group has started reading Chapter 12: The Paradox of Desire. In it, Phillip Moffitt writes, “Being in the physical realm, you are undeniably involved with the energy of desire…This, then, is the paradox of desire–it leads to suffering when grasped after, yet without it there is no movement to tend to your child’s needs or to help your sick neighbor, or to free yourself from suffering.Thus, your challenge is not to rid yourself of desire, but rather to choose your desires wisely and respond skillfully…
“Desire always involves movement–either toward something pleasant, or away from something unpleasant. There is movement in desire whether you are reacting to something that is happening right now, thinking about the future, or even remembering the past. The frozen states of apathy, helplessness, cynicism, and depression have little movement and, therefore, little life. They are hindrances to freedom and well-being. Such wounded states of mind point to the necessity of movement for healthy life. They also reveal that you need healthy desire to provide the energy you need to seek liberation.
“To understand the relationship between movement and your desires, there are two refinements that I suggest you reflect upon. The first is to make the movement of your desire the object of your mindful attention. By focusing on the energetic movement, you can quickly determine if what you are being drawn toward or repulsed from is in line with your deepest values…..
“A second refinement for working with the energy of desire is to explore the great mystery of stillness. Stillness is not apathy or collapse; it is vibrant, fully alive energy. In stillness the movement is neither away from nor toward any object…
“By becoming aware of the moments of stillness in yourself (you do have them!) you gain the ability to clearly see your desire as movement. You see how desire arises naturally from causes and conditions and aren’t beguiled by it. You know that clinging to desire is not the freedom of stillness. You understand that in order to be free your challenge is to come to terms with desire and to cease to be attached to it.”
(image: Q-cards)
Life is Challenging. For Everyone.
The March homework for the Dedicated Practitioner Program just arrived, beginning with: “This month we will start preparing for the final retreat of the program.”
Gosh. That went fast.
It continues, “The topics of this retreat represent in some ways the culmination of our time together, and also of the path of practice itself: Nibbana, the Four Noble Truths, Anatta, the Stages of Awakening and the Brahama Vihara of Equanimity.”
So, wow, that final retreat (April 25- May 2) is going to be a doozie!
Meanwhile…the homework: As a part of our reflections on the First Noble Truth, we are asked to consider the meaning of dukkha (most often translated as “suffering.”) The assignment: “What word or words do you use to translate dukkha, and why? Make a list of all the synonyms you can think of for dukkha.”
OK. Here goes:
Suffering
Stress
Not Getting What I Want
Unhappiness
Feeling Miserable
Things Not Going the Way I Want Them To
Distress
Disappointment
Tension
Difficulty
Dis-ease
A literal translation of The First Noble Truth is, “Bhikkhus (monks), there is this Noble Truth of dukkha.” The homework asks: how do you prefer to translate this truth?”
I like Sylvia Boorstein’s translation: Life is challenging. For everyone. I think I’ll go with that.
(image: The Housewives Tarot)
Conditions Change
All conditioned things are impermanent.
On that note, here are a few more photos from the retreat, which was held at the C.O.D. ranch in Oracle, Arizona, about 35 miles north of Tucson. (If you ever get a chance to go there…do it!)
On the Path
Our retreat schedule followed the standard format of alternating periods of sitting and walking meditation, but the teachers also strongly encouraged us to take at least one sitting-plus-walking period each day to go out into the desert (the ranch is right next to a state park), or to hike the beautiful trail on the ranch itself, which leads up the mountain, between the rocks and prickly pear, through the mesquite, and the “shin-daggers” and pine.
This is me, heading out.
This is the state park.
This is me, after the walk.
Then conditions changed…
And the cactus was covered in snow!
A Seat of One’s Own
I’m back from retreat, which was totally AWESOME. I’ll say more about that later, but in the mean time, take a peek:
