In a State of Activity
One of my dear Dharma Buddies sent me this quote, which I offer as a reminder for this Holiday Season:
Meditation in a state of activity is even more profound than in a state of quietude.
(Thanks, Christy!)
When the Mind Gets Quiet
The depth of Buddhist teachings explores the mysteriousness of human life and incarnation as a human being, having consciousness and so forth….
When the mind gets quiet and silent, then that sense of mystery starts to open. And the questions about what really matters and what are the ways of operating in this human life that bring joy, that bring freedom, that bring benefit, are what start to arise.
— Jack Kornfield
(image from Carnaval de Venise, by Fulvio Roiter)
I’m Thankful I’m Alive
In honor of Thanksgiving, I offer this excerpt from an article by Wes Nisker, reprinted in the latest issue of Spirit Rock News….for which I am also thankful:
Strange to say so, but one of the best things I learned in meditation is that I’m alive. I had rarely noticed it, but through increasing awareness of body and breath I began to pay attention to this mysterious condition. Now my identity includes the fact that I am one of the living! I am a live one!
You too are a member of the sangha of the living. Welcome. Glad you could make it. Life on earth is now appearing as (your name here).
The path of meditation reminds us that we are alive by leading us from our heads into our bodies. We come down from the story of our life to the fact of our life.
My teacher S.N. Goenka told me to sweep my body with awareness, and slowly but surely I became familiar with my nose and my toes, and what the poet Mary Oliver calls the world of “lime and appetite, the oceanic fluids.” This bag of bones and seawater came alive and started to take over my ego as the foundation of my identity. You might say, I was “born again,” as an animal. I had to join a grand and venerable sangha.
When I witness myself in the story of evolution, I feel a surge of compassion for the struggles of all my life. Let’s face it, the basic rules on this planet are nasty and brutish. But the phrase, “May all being be happy” has a deeper ring to it when I regard myself in the same world as those who dress in feathers, fur, scales, leaves and bark.
Now when I sit in mediation I can feel my aliveness, my mammalian condition, my species self. I also sense my practice as part of a group effort by human beings to awaken to a new kind of freedom and sanity. In the light of that big perspective, I thank you for being on my team, part of this exciting project, helping us all to realize our precious, collective, human potential.”
***
(image from Carnaval de Venise, by Fulvio Roiter)
May All Relationships….
Another new (to me) practice that Phillip Moffitt offered at the Flowering Lotus retreat was Reconciliation Practice. We had already done Forgiveness Practice and Metta (Lovingkindness) Practice. The Reconciliation Practice, Phillip said, is particularly useful when Forgiveness seems too far out of reach.
Here’s what we did:
We sat in a circle, with our eyes closed, while Phillip said a phrase out loud. We then repeated that phrase, also out loud, in unison. Then he repeated it again and this time we also repeat it again — but in silence this time.
Then he said another phrase, and we followed in the same fashion.
Here were some of the phrases:
May all daughters and fathers be reconciled.
May all sons and mothers be reconciled.
May all daughters and mothers, sons and fathers be reconciled.
May all husbands and wives, partners and lovers, be reconciled.
May all brothers and sisters be reconciled.
May all communities be reconciled.
May all nations be reconciled.
May all people be reconciled.
***
(image from “A Whole World,” by Couprie and Louchard)
2013
To Arrive at What You Are Not
After sitting the weekend retreat with Phillip Moffitt, I came back home and picked up his book, Dancing with Life, which the KM group has been discussing for almost 2 years. The next-to-last chapter is titled: “Now That You Know, What Is It That You Know?”
Here’s the part that really stood out for me:
Based on my years of experience of working with students, you most likely have some psychological/emotional issues that create an inner sense of scarcity or need in your ego identity that must be worked with before you can finish walking the Eightfold Path…..[This] is what must be released so that something new beyond your ego’s imagination and capacity can enter and flourish.
…It is difficult and confusing to work with your ego’s limitation, no matter what it is. This is because you need the ego’s cooperation in order to act in a manner that at times seems contrary to its own interest. As T.S. Eliot says in “Four Quartets”:
In order to arrive at what you are not
You must go through the way in which you are not.
The journey feels as strange as Eliot’s words because by definition you are “not being yourself,” yet you are being very genuine in not being yourself!
This is the paradox of the inner journey….You aren’t supposed to build your practice around “destroying your ego limitation,” rather you consciously go through your ego limitation in order to be freed from it.
***
(image: Green Vacancy by Wassily Kandinsky)
Take Your Question for a Walk
One of the practices that Phillip Moffitt offered at the recent weekend retreat at Flowering Lotus was something he called: Taking Your Question for a Walk. I’d never heard of it before, but I was immediately drawn to it. Here’s how it goes:
Just like in regular walking practice, you find someplace to walk….it can be inside or out…a short path or hallway or whatever, of about 10-20 paces, where you can walk back and forth comfortably, without having to navigate around anything.
You stand at the beginning of the path and you ask your question three times (silently or out loud…however you like). This is not for small, casual questions like “should I go to Cancun or the Bahamas for vacation,” or “what color should I paint the bedroom”…although who knows, maybe it would help.
And it’s not really for big, abstract questions like “what is the Meaning of Life.” It’s more for open, but directed, near-term questions like “what can I do, in the next week or month, to ease the suffering in my life?” In fact, he suggested that very question if a different one didn’t naturally pop up.
So you stand at the beginning of the walking path, ask the question three times…then forget about it. Just walk — mindfully — paying attention to what it feels like to walk (the touch sensation of each foot as it comes into contact with the ground, for example, or the tightening and release of the muscles in the calves or thighs as they move through space). Don’t think about the question. Don’t look around at the scenery. Don’t plan what you’re going to have for dinner. Just feel what it feels like to walk.
Do this for 20 or 30 minutes. (When you do find yourself thinking about the question, or checking out the scenery, or planning to get take-out for dinner…just smile at yourself…and go back to the feel of your foot on the floor.)
Then when the 20 or 30 minutes is up: stop, and bow to the path.
And see what presents itself.
Maybe you will sense that something has shifted and you now have a very clear understanding of the new direction you need to be moving in. Or maybe a phrase or image will arise in your mind. Or a physical sensation. Or maybe it will seem like nothing at all has happened…until later, when you realize that somehow you have naturally starting doing things differently. Or maybe not.
Who knows.
It’s a mystery.
Check it out.
***
(image by Edward Gorey from “Gorey Creatures”)
On the New Moon
At the retreat, we celebrated traditional observance days (Uposatha) by chanting the precepts on the New and Full Moons. In Buddhist countries around the world, people use these days (as well as the First and Third Quarter Moons) as a kind of Sabbath, by taking 8 Precepts (basically, not eating dinner…see yesterday’s post), or making special offering to monastics, staying up all night to meditate, or finding some other way to intensity their practice.
Before the retreat, I was already acknowledging these days by adding an extra sit/walk to my daily practice. But now that I’ve gotten a “taste” of what it’s like to observe 8 Precepts, I’ve decided to add that to my New and Full Moon practice as well.
Last Sunday, Nov 3, was a New Moon. So I didn’t eat after the mid-day meal (and didn’t go to the movies, lounge around in bed, or put on any make up or jewelry). And I sat long enough in the evening to listen to Dhammaruwan chant the Sattipatanna Sutta in Pali by sections (followed by Greg Sharf reading the English translation), which is what they’ve been doing back at IMS in the second 6 weeks of the retreat I just left. (You can find the tapes here.)
This New Moon observance was a beautiful way to feel connected to the yogis who I sat with for the last 6 weeks and who stayed at IMS to continue practicing for 6 more. And to all those others around the world who are practicing just like I am–with care and diligence…as best they are able.
On Not Eating Dinner
At the retreat, we had the option of practicing eight precepts instead of the usual five. The five precepts are are: (1) refraining from killing–even insects!, (2) refraining from taking that which is not freely given, (3) refraining from sexual activity, (4) refraining from incorrect speech–speech that is harmful, harsh, untimely, or not beneficial…not really a problem since the retreat is in silence, (5) refraining from taking intoxicants–alcohol or recreational drugs–that lead to carelessness.
The additional three are: (6) refraining from eating after the noon meal, (7) refraining from entertainment and beautifying the body with garlands, jewelry, cosmetics and perfumes (8) refraining from using high and luxurious seats and beds–basically so you don’t just lounge around in them all day.
Entertainment, beautification and luxurious beds are not really an issue on retreat. But not eating dinner–now that’s a stretch.
It’s not punitive, though. Or anything to do with deprivation or self mortification. It’s really about restraint. The idea is that you will feel lighter by not eating in the afternoon or evening, less sluggish and….freed from the need to eat and digest…more able to meditate.
So, instead of the light dinner of soup and bread that is usually served at the dinner hour, those who are following the eight precepts just drink fruit juice. And/or tea. (Which can include a little bit of milk.) Plus there’s hard candy available to help keep the blood sugar up.
But that’s it.
I hadn’t thought I would do it because really, skipping dinner seemed a bit of a stretch. But they served plenty of food at both breakfast and lunch. And soup every night for dinner didn’t sound that hard to give up. The bread, I thought, would be a challenge, but then I thought I’ve had plenty of bread in my lifetime….and I would have plenty more again in the future…so what the heck.
So I did it.
I was pretty worried about being hungry. Which I was–a few times. But being hungry is really not all that bad, I discovered. There’s pressure in the stomach area. Sometimes a cramping, twisting sensation. Sometimes a sharp little stab. But it comes and goes. It’s really not a problem….especially since taking the extra precepts was completely voluntary. (And since I knew I could eat as much as I wanted in the morning.)
And I did feel a bit lighter. Physically, yes, but mostly psychologically. Because letting go of eating dinner meant that I was free of having to “feed” that particular habit.
It was quite liberating!
A Great Way to End the Day
Every night of the retreat, at the end of the last sitting, we sang a Metta Chant known as Imaya Dhammanu (which is the first line of the chant and means “By this Practice.”) At first Guy Armstrong and then Bhante Buddharakkhita led the chant, but it soon became clear that one of the yogis (retreatants) had an amazingly beautiful voice, so they quickly turned the lead over to her. On the last night, they recorded us and I wish I could share it with you, but for privacy reasons, it’s only available to attendees. (You can probably google “Imaya Dhammanu chant” and find another recording of it somewhere.)
It was such a lovely way to end the evening that I’ve been chanting it here at home every night before going to bed. The chant is in Pali, but here’s what it means in English:
By this practice,
truly in accord with the Dhamma,
I honor the Buddha.
By this practice,
truly in accord with the Dhamma,
I honor the Dhamma.
By this practice,
truly in accord with the Dhamma,
I honor the Sangha.
May I be free from enmity/danger.
May I be free from mental suffering.
May I be free from physical suffering.
May I care for myself happily.
May my mother and father,
teacher, relatives, friends,
and fellow dhamma-farers
be free from enmity/danger,
be free from mental suffering
be free from physical suffering
and may they care for themselves happily.
May all yogis in this forest (place)
be free from enmity/danger,
be free from mental suffering,
be free from physical suffering,
and may they care for themselves happily.
May the guardian deities
of this abode
and this dwelling,
and may the guardian deities
of this forest
be free from enmity/danger,
be free from mental suffering
be free from physical suffering
and many they care for themselves happily.
May all beings,
all creatures,
all living things,
all people,
all beings with bodies,
all females,
all males,
all noble ones,
all who are not noble ones,
all deities,
all humans,
all those in unhappy states,
be free from enmity/danger,
be free from mental suffering,
be free from physical suffering,
and many they care for themselves happily.
May they be free from suffering,
enjoy safety and abundance,
and have kamma as their true property.
May our merit be shared
with all beings.
Well spoken, well spoken, well spoken.
A Good Way to Come Home
Besides laundry and e-mails and taking care of Elvis, one of the first things I did when I came home from retreat was to go out and find gifts to give…to my teachers Lila and Mirabai who put me up in their homes before and after the retreat, to my sister Gretchen for taking care of Elvis while I was gone, to my brothers Wayne and Matt and my nephew Ryan whose birthdays came and went while I was away, to my friend Michael who got married on the weekend I got back…and probably others who I have yet to think of, who are in need of a gift from me.
I didn’t plan for it, but it has turned out to be a tremendous comfort in dealing with the sense of loss and grief I was feeling as Elvis was dying and a wonderful way to come back home to the “real” world of relationships and responsibilities after being gone for so long on a deep, inner journey.
Turning my attention to finding these gifts….thinking of just the right thing to give, wrapping them in a way that would be the most pleasing and imagining them being opened and the delight they will give…has been a great source of joy for me.
I will make a note of this.
The best way to come home is with a generous heart.