Judging-Comparing-Fixing
At the retreat, we renewed our commitment — our vow, really — to abstain from judging, comparing and fixing. Which, of course, didn’t mean that we all stopped doing it.
But we all did commit to take this on as a practice.
And it occurs to me that this is a practice of equanimity. By not judging others, by not comparing myself to them and by not trying to “fix” them, I am letting them be who they are, as they are. This doesn’t mean that I withdraw from them. I can be right there with them. Present and responsive, as needed.
But they don’t have to be the way I want them to be for me to care about them. They don’t have to be like me. And I don’t have to be like them. We are profoundly connected, but we don’t need to go around fixing each other.
So I have added this to my morning ritual. In addition to taking the traditional vows to avoid harming other beings, I have add: For my own freedom and for the freedom of others, I will practice equanimity by not judging, comparing or fixing.