19 Nov
2013
Posted in: Groups, Talks, Teachers
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And the Answer Is….

Last night the Dharma Seed KM Group listened to a great talk, given by Joseph Goldstein during the second half of the 3-month retreat at IMS (going on right now), in which he answers several excellent questions (submitted in written form) from some of the people at the retreat.

The questions are:

(1) What is the difference between mindfulness, awareness and consciousness? And how can we practice seeing these as not self?

(2) Is this all there is….getting lost in fantasy, coming back to this seat, meeting the hindrances, coming back to the various vibrations and weird pressure sensations of the body? Everything feels empty, like it’s really just the six sense doors over and over…even out in real life, there’s no role or position or partner or adventure or success or house or anything outside of this. No matter what, it’s just the six sense doors. Frankly it’s feeling depressing and I’ve been feeling it for a year now. I feel this sense of grief and sometimes rage and am desperately wanting it to be something more than empty. But it’s said that the joy is in the emptiness. Can you help me/us feel that’s true or possible?

(3) Sometimes I feel so much joy I want to start skipping, but I fear it would disturb others. Should I just skip? Or is this not appropriate? 

(4) I am a 3-month yogi. During the course of the retreat, I have gotten insight from direct experience that when tormenting mind states arise, it is based on either something that happened in the past or something that may happen in the future. At first these tormenting states would sweep me away for a day or two. I couldn’t even recall that it was impermanent. Now as of the last two times these states arose, there is greater space and awareness that this too will pass…that its nature is impermanent. How long do tormenting mind states continue to arise? What is their purpose? Are they a regular part of practice? Aside from doing no harm, noting, seeing its impermanence, metta and forgiveness, are there any other tools to use to get free from these states of mind that indeed torment?

(5) In the Satipatthana Sutta, there is a lot of talk about observing things internally, externally or both internally and externally. What constitutes an internal observation? What constitutes an external observation? What is the significance of this distinction?

(6) When doing Forgiveness Practice, when is it appropriate to ask the other person to actually forgive you instead of just saying the phrases in your head?

(7) Suppose re-birth really happens and accept it…there is no me, no mine, no myself. Who or what gets reborn?

(8) Who and what is the “managing unit” that seems to be behind the decisions? There is some managing agent that decides to go fishing for enlightenment…or whatever fish is chooses to go fishing for. Or to have a sitting or walking meditation…or to walk slow or fast…and where to turn the attention to….or to ask this question. Who is this agent?

Interested in the answers? Listen to what Joseph has to say here.

18 Nov
2013
Posted in: Poems, Teachers
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Because the Moon was Full

There was a Full Moon yesterday, which I celebrated by listening to several of the talks (you can find them here) given by Ajhan Sucitto at the month-long retreat going on right now at the Forest Refuge, in Barre, Mass. It’s a retreat I applied for, but didn’t get into. There are only 30 spaces at the Forest Refuge, so for popular retreats like this one, they hold a lottery to see who gets in. And I didn’t. But it’s OK, because I’m going to sit an 8-day retreat with him at IMS next April.

In further full-moon celebration, I offer this poem by W. S. Merwin:

 

Lunar Landscape

Nobody can tell you
anything new about
moonlight you have seen it
for yourself as many
times as necessary

nobody else ever saw
it as it appeared to you
you have heard all about it
but in the words of others
so that you fell asleep

it was photographed but
somewhere else and without
what was happening inside
its light and whenever it
was rhymed it disappeared

you cannot depend on
it use it for much send
it anywhere sell it
keep it for yourself bring
it back when it has left

and while it is lighting
the ocean like a name while
it is awake in the leaves
you do not need to look at it
to know it is not there 

15 Nov
2013
Posted in: Practice, Retreats
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May All Relationships….

Another new (to me) practice that Phillip Moffitt offered at the Flowering Lotus retreat was Reconciliation Practice. We had already done Forgiveness Practice and Metta (Lovingkindness) Practice. The Reconciliation Practice, Phillip said, is particularly useful when Forgiveness seems too far out of reach.

Here’s what we did:

We sat in a circle, with our eyes closed, while Phillip said a phrase out loud. We then repeated that phrase, also out loud, in unison. Then he repeated it again and this time we also repeat it again — but in silence this time.

Then he said another phrase, and we followed in the same fashion.

Here were some of the phrases:

May all daughters and fathers be reconciled.

May all sons and mothers be reconciled.

May all daughters and mothers, sons and fathers be reconciled.

May all husbands and wives, partners and lovers, be reconciled.

May all brothers and sisters be reconciled.

May all communities be reconciled.

May all nations be reconciled.

May all people be reconciled. 

*** 

(image from “A Whole World,” by Couprie and Louchard)

14 Nov
2013
Posted in: Books, Practice, Teachers
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To Arrive at What You Are Not

After sitting the weekend retreat with Phillip Moffitt, I came back home and picked up his book, Dancing with Life, which the KM group has been discussing for almost 2 years. The next-to-last chapter is titled: “Now That You Know, What Is It That You Know?”

Here’s the part that really stood out for me:

Based on my years of experience of working with students, you most likely have some psychological/emotional issues that create an inner sense of scarcity or need in your ego identity that must be worked with before you can finish walking the Eightfold Path…..[This] is what must be released so that something new beyond your ego’s imagination and capacity can enter and flourish. 

…It  is difficult and confusing to work with your ego’s limitation, no matter what it is. This is because you need the ego’s cooperation in order to act in a manner that at times seems contrary to its own interest. As T.S. Eliot says in “Four Quartets”:

In order to arrive at what you are not
You must go through the way in which you are not.

The journey feels as strange as Eliot’s words because by definition you are “not being yourself,” yet you are being very genuine in not being yourself!

This is the paradox of the inner journey….You aren’t supposed to build your practice around “destroying your ego limitation,” rather you consciously go through your ego limitation in order to be freed from it

***

(image: Green Vacancy by Wassily Kandinsky)

13 Nov
2013
Posted in: Practice, Retreats
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Take Your Question for a Walk

One of the practices that Phillip Moffitt offered at the recent weekend retreat at Flowering Lotus was something he called: Taking Your Question for a Walk. I’d never heard of it before, but I was immediately drawn to it. Here’s how it goes:

Just like in regular walking practice, you find someplace to walk….it can be inside or out…a short path or hallway or whatever, of about 10-20 paces, where you can walk back and forth comfortably, without having to navigate around anything.

You stand at the beginning of the path and you ask your question three times (silently or out loud…however you like). This is not for small, casual questions like “should I go to Cancun or the Bahamas for vacation,” or “what color should I paint the bedroom”…although who knows, maybe it would help.

And it’s not really for big, abstract questions like “what is the Meaning of Life.” It’s more for open, but directed, near-term questions like “what can I do, in the next week or month, to ease the suffering in my life?” In fact, he suggested that very question if a different one didn’t naturally pop up.

So you stand at the beginning of the walking path, ask the question three times…then forget about it. Just walk — mindfully — paying attention to what it feels like to walk (the touch sensation of each foot as it comes into contact with the ground, for example, or the tightening and release of the muscles in the calves or thighs as they move through space). Don’t think about the question. Don’t look around at the scenery. Don’t plan what you’re going to have for dinner. Just feel what it feels like to walk.

Do this for 20 or 30 minutes. (When you do find yourself thinking about the question, or checking out the scenery, or planning to get take-out for dinner…just smile at yourself…and go back to the feel of your foot on the floor.)

Then when the 20 or 30 minutes is up: stop, and bow to the path.

And see what presents itself.

Maybe you will sense that something has shifted and you now have a very clear understanding of the new direction you need to be moving in. Or maybe a phrase or image will arise in your mind. Or a physical sensation. Or maybe it will seem like nothing at all has happened…until later, when you realize that somehow you have naturally starting doing things differently. Or maybe not.

Who knows.

It’s a mystery.

Check it out.

***

(image by Edward Gorey from “Gorey Creatures”)

12 Nov
2013
Posted in: Retreats
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In Full Bloom

I don’t even know where to begin to tell you what an amazing thing it was to spend the weekend with a couple of sangha buddies from St. Louis, at a retreat lead by Phillip Moffitt, in the middle-of-nowhere Magnolia, Mississippi…where the Dharma is in full bloom!!!

This is the entrance hall to the Flowering Lotus Retreat Center, which was founded by my DPP buddy Dolores Watson. There are lots more photos on their website, but even these don’t do the place justice. The food was fantastic. The weather was perfect. And the teachings….especially in this lovely, intimate setting….were priceless.

I’ll post more later about some of the specific practices we were offered. But for today, I’ll leave you with this haiku, which Phillip quoted as an opening for the weekend:

The butterfly,
Even when pursued,
Never appears in a hurry. 

6 Nov
2013
Posted in: Retreats
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Dharma Road Trip!

I’m leaving tomorrow morning with a couple of my Dancing with Life KM buddies to attend a weekend retreat with Phillip Moffitt — whose book we’ve been discussing for almost two years. The retreat is in Magnolia, Mississippi!!! (I’ll be back and posting again on Tuesday.)

We’ll be at lovely little center that my DPP friend, Dolores Watson, has founded. It’s called Flowering Lotus and it looks amazing. Intrigued by these photos? See more on their website here.

 

 

This is the mediation hall.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is the guest house, called Joyfulness, where we’ll be staying.

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s a peek inside.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s one of the bedrooms.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Awesome!!!!

 

 

5 Nov
2013
Posted in: Practice, Retreats
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On the New Moon

At the retreat, we celebrated traditional observance days (Uposatha) by chanting the precepts on the New and Full Moons. In Buddhist countries around the world, people use these days (as well as the First and Third Quarter Moons) as a kind of Sabbath, by taking 8 Precepts (basically, not eating dinner…see yesterday’s post), or making special offering to monastics, staying up all night to meditate, or finding some other way to intensity their practice.

Before the retreat, I was already acknowledging these days by adding an extra sit/walk to my daily practice. But now that I’ve gotten a “taste” of what it’s like to observe 8 Precepts, I’ve decided to add that to my New and Full Moon practice as well.

Last Sunday, Nov 3, was a New Moon. So I didn’t eat after the mid-day meal (and didn’t go to the movies, lounge around in bed, or put on any make up or jewelry). And I sat long enough in the evening to listen to Dhammaruwan chant the Sattipatanna Sutta in Pali by sections (followed by Greg Sharf reading the English translation), which is what they’ve been doing back at IMS in the second 6 weeks of the retreat I just left. (You can find the tapes here.)

This New Moon observance was a beautiful way to feel connected to the yogis who I sat with for the last 6 weeks and who stayed at IMS to continue practicing for 6 more. And to all those others around the world who are practicing just like I am–with care and diligence…as best they are able.

4 Nov
2013
Posted in: Practice, Retreats
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On Not Eating Dinner

At the retreat, we had the option of practicing eight precepts instead of the usual five. The five precepts are are: (1) refraining from killing–even insects!, (2) refraining from taking that which is not freely given, (3) refraining from sexual activity, (4) refraining from incorrect speech–speech that is harmful, harsh, untimely, or not beneficial…not really a problem since the retreat is in silence, (5) refraining from taking intoxicants–alcohol or recreational drugs–that lead to carelessness.

The additional three are: (6) refraining from eating after the noon meal, (7) refraining from entertainment and beautifying the body with garlands, jewelry, cosmetics and perfumes (8) refraining from using high and luxurious seats and beds–basically so you don’t just lounge around in them all day.

Entertainment, beautification and luxurious beds are not really an issue on retreat. But not eating dinner–now that’s a stretch.

It’s not punitive, though. Or anything to do with deprivation or self mortification. It’s really about restraint. The idea is that you will feel lighter by not eating in the afternoon or evening, less sluggish and….freed from the need to eat and digest…more able to meditate.

So, instead of the light dinner of soup and bread that is usually served at the dinner hour, those who are following the eight precepts just drink fruit juice. And/or tea. (Which can include a little bit of milk.) Plus there’s hard candy available to help keep the blood sugar up.

But that’s it.

I hadn’t thought I would do it because really, skipping dinner seemed a bit of a stretch. But they served plenty of food at both breakfast and lunch. And soup every night for dinner didn’t sound that hard to give up. The bread, I thought, would be a challenge, but then I thought I’ve had plenty of bread in my lifetime….and I would have plenty more again in the future…so what the heck.

So I did it.

I was pretty worried about being hungry. Which I was–a few times. But being hungry is really not all that bad, I discovered. There’s pressure in the stomach area. Sometimes a cramping, twisting sensation. Sometimes a sharp little stab. But it comes and goes. It’s really not a problem….especially since taking the extra precepts was completely voluntary. (And since I knew I could eat as much as I wanted in the morning.)

And I did feel a bit lighter. Physically, yes, but mostly psychologically. Because letting go of eating dinner meant that I was free of having to “feed” that particular habit.

It was quite liberating!

1 Nov
2013
Posted in: Retreats
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Sit. Walk. Laundry.

At the retreat, I spent a lot of time sitting on the cushion. And walking in the hall. And working in the laundry room!

Everyone gets a “yogi job,” and mine has almost always been chopping veggies or washing lettuce, which is normally something that’s done during the hour after breakfast. But this time my job was “kitchen laundry,” which meant that every morning, I had to take a trolley of about 2 loads of dish towels and wash cloths and aprons down to the basement in the building next to the kitchen, shake out the crumbs, and put the laundry into the washing machines. Then sweep up the crumbs, then bring the trolley back up the stairs and into the kitchen.

And then an hour later, I had to go back down and take the laundry out of the washers and put it into the dryers.

Then another hour later, back down to take everything out of the dryers and fold it all. Then take one load back up the stairs, into the kitchen, and put everything away where it belonged. Then back downstairs to get the second load. Then back to the kitchen. Then back to the laundry room to put the empty basket away.

And then do it all again the next day. Mindfully, of course.

For 43 days.

(Definitely advanced practice.)