When It Feels Like There’s Nothing There
In the same talk I wrote about in Monday’s post, Ajahn Sucitto gives a very interesting answer to someone asking for more instructions on “detecting somatic experiences,” saying that there seem to be many “numb places” in this person’s body, and that “presumably it isn’t that the body doesn’t feel them but that it’s something to do with the mind’s inability to receive the messages.”
Sucitto responds:
“Well, the message there is: numb. That’s a message of a kind….
“It can be that the mind just isn’t tuned in enough, doesn’t pick up the signals. In which case you can begin to sensitize it by noticing things such as sensations in the hands, or a sense of warmth in the overall body….
“The energies of the emotions and the energies of the body are intertwined, so where there’s strong emotional affliction, there tends to be a certain somatic effect. Constriction, for example. Just as when somebody screams at you, you tighten up. You don’t decided to do. Your body just does it. As a defense. There can be many events like that. Most people tend to have had those kinds of experiences.
“It can also be a safety system, where you don’t feel anything because it’s too uncomfortable to feel it. Or it can be something to do with resignation, like: It’s not going to happen for me, so I just won’t bother and then something closes down, something freezes up. You go numb because the good, the warm, the friendly, the loving, isn’t going to happen, so your mind says: Just put up with it. Then something closes down. And there’s a sense of loss…
“Some numbness can be just that your mind isn’t acute enough. Some can be because of things that happened. And some can be because of things that didn’t happen.
“Mostly those things that did happen cause something more like tightness or tension or constriction. Whereas things that didn’t happen tend to cause numbness. You didn’t get the warmth or the support, so your mind just goes: Oh well…. It gives up, then it closes down. Or you didn’t get heard, or something, so you closed down. If this gets repeated enough and it becomes a pattern…then something closes.
“If you feel a numb place in your body, turn your attention to a place where you’re not so numb. Maybe your feet…or try to feel the whole of your body as much as you can…. At any rate, you widen your field of attention until you’ve got some reference…
“You find a place out of the afflicted area. And from there you let your mind rest in that which feels alive. And then from there you can welcome the numb place, turn your kind attention to it. Perhaps sweep from the safe place through the place of affliction…moving the attention gently, like stroking…and then moving…and breathing…though all of it.”
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The above has been edited. Here’s a link to the full talk (53 minutes). He reads the question about numbness at around 10 minutes before the end.